A month after

It's been just over a month since I returned from Santiago, and it's been a time of shifting and changing.

First - all the major post-camino entries:

The needful and an initial reaction, pilgrimage as therapy
How things change
Sacrament of Life

It's been a strange time. I'm not aware of having achieved anything - I know that without God carrying me I wouldn't have left home, I wouldn't have had the nerve or the faith to jump. All the way through I had this sense of knowing that I would finish - I'm notorious for not finishing what I start, especially with writing stuff, but sometimes I have this cast-iron certainty and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I'm aware of the way things changed - I came home and found that the old ways of doing things just didn't work, and that has taken a huge amount of adjustment. The notable effect has been felt on this placement - I would not have been able to cope before with a full day of placement and then being sociable with relatives before the Camino. I won't say that it's entirely easy, but I'm getting far more out of things, and I'm generally a lot more relaxed than I have been in a long while. There's still work to be done, but I've kept up the physical prayer disciplines - I find it hard going if I can't exercise+pray. I need to go back to doing yoga, but that's a 'not yet' job.

I'm happier doing healing related things as well - the incidents on the camino have given be a greater confidence in God's loving kindness, grace and mercy and I'm finding the language to express that to other people and to communicate the truth of the Gospel, and the trust that I have in the Gospel message. Undertaking the Great Commission is daunting, especially when I'm having to explain to people the "if necessary use words" bit - I spent quite a lot of time last night pointing at various bits of the NT to justify how I can worship in a multi-faith setting. It starts with "What you did for the least of these" and goes through 1 Cor 13, Fruits of the Spirit, Rev 2, and Jn 3:16, via the Lord's Prayer and the Aaronic Blessing.

The more I travel along the road I am on, the more certain I am of my own faith, and the happier I am to work with those of other faiths and none, because I trust in a God of Love and of Mercy, that reveals Himself in His universe and through His people. I learnt the most on the Camino from those that didn't take the traditional paths, the ones that showed a spark of their creator and let it fan into a different coloured flame.

It's been a strange time - I know who and what I value, and who and where I want to spent my free time. Family matters, but only when it's about Love not Duty. I came to know myself better and to trust in friendships. Learning to love myself, to appreciate the God present in Eucharist, the sacramental God of everyday life, has been such an amazing experience, as has learning to understand the different dialects of God.

The Tongues of Angels are not simply "tongues" but also 'tat', 'evangelical preaching', MOR worship, 'Methodist Worship', and so on. It is not enough to do them, we also need to make sure that they are clear to the congregation, and that people have some understanding of what is going on. It is wonderful to have a rarefied language that is so subtly expressive. But if there is none gifted in its interpretation then that tongue should be silent. And if it is not done in love, ditto. It is not just about Love of God but Love of one another. Church should emerge from the culture it is in, rather than being imposed on the congregation because that is how it has always been done. The Church forms a continuity through the ages, and different individual congregations will grow and change and develop in love and holiness as time goes on.

And then these too will pass away, but seeds will have been planted, to die and rise again in newer shapes. Some churches are yews, some oaks, some ash and some hazel, but all have their place in God's Kingdom - we need them for their different properties.

Once again, in trying to talk about myself, I find myself ranting. So much has stayed the same. I am still me, just as I am, just as God made me. He gave me so many gifts, so much joy and such deep peace and I rejoice to know Him and celebrate His Love.

In the word of the Camino Ultreya! - keep going.

Much Love, Many Blessings

La Peregrina